Health Care Colorado Style

According to the National Network of Libraries of Medicine, Colorado is one of the healthiest states in the country. But with the booming Medical (wink, wink) Marijuana business in our state, I have to wonder if that is true. Thousands of our state residents are unable to face life unless their minds are in an altered state, while their bodies, of course, remain in Colorado. So common is the need for this now legal “drug,” that there are more than a dozen dispensaries within about four miles of where I live.

While I doubt the legitimacy of designating marijuana as a medicine, I do have to give credit to the creative people who sell MMJ, both with regard to the names they give to their facilities and the resourceful ways in which they deliver their product.

Many of the dispensaries in our area are aptly named. Some names I have seen include: Mountain High Medical Caregivers. Levity Wellness, Best Budz, and The Secret Stash Progressive Medicine. A store located just down the street from our home is named, Indispensary. I’m thinking that whoever named that one might have been sampling the stock.

Ways these pot dealers, sorry, “medical marijuana distributers,” package their product for convenience is quite resourceful. Pfizer and Eli Lily could take a few lessons from these folks. No more nasty tasting syrups and elephant-sized pills. In addition to the traditional way of ingesting the product (aka smoking weed), these people have a line of infused products that include: various drinks, brownies, cookies, cakes, rice cereal treats, chips, trail mix, popcorn, fudge, lollipops, peanut butter cups, frozen pizzas, pot pies, buffalo wings, and, for the more discerning party planner, caviar.

The MMJ business here is very competitive, and testimonials can be found on their websites. A testimonial on one dispensary website begins, “I recently visited these nice people and I must say that from the friendly service, to the top notch, high quality. . . ” Ya think? (The bolding is mine.)

I don’t know how much the hurting and sick Colorado patients will be helped, or if whatever ails them will be cured, but that probably doesn’t matter since they will no longer be aware that they have any problems.

And while all of those “hurting and sick people” seek help, (as of March of this year 123,890 “patients” possessed valid Colorado registry ID cards) state lawmakers are ecstatic about the huge increase in revenue they are receiving from sales generated by the marijuana industry. What a great way for lawmakers to continue reckless spending and avoid balancing the budget!

Someone should offer to sell the Brooklyn Bridge to Colorado state lawmakers. If they can buy the argument that pot is medicine, I’m sure the bridge would be an easy deal to close.