Letter to Tissue Box Designer

Dear Tissue Box Designer,

One of life’s little frustrations for me is dealing with your non-functional tissue container. Just pulling the first tissue through the little oval on top of the box tells me that something is lacking in the design of this product. The “first tissue” usually turns out to be a handful, all wrapped together as one. Further attempts to remove tissues from the box also produce disappointing results. Just last week, three tissues tore into thirds as I pulled them from the box and often, when I remove what appears to be the last of the tissues, I need to “go fish” for a remaining stack at the bottom of the box. This action brings me back to my first complaint as, once again, a handful is given up.

This world if full of products that are functional. Thus, I have to conclude that there are people in the world of manufacturing who actually understand design. For example:

  • My coffee pot will turn itself on and brew my coffee while I sleep, awakening me to the wonderful fresh-brewed aroma.
  • My toaster pops the bread up when it is perfectly browned according to my pre-selected setting.
  • Responding to a slight tug, my storage bags are delivered, one at a time, into my hand.
  • My shower cleaner works with the touch of a button and it gives me a fifteen second warning that, interpreted, says, “Get out of the shower, now!”
  • When I so desire, my garage door will open before it even comes into view.
  • With the touch of a few buttons, my oven will turn on and cook my roast while I listen to my minister’s sermon on Sunday morning. It also will clean itself while I go shopping.
  • The name and number of the person calling me by telephone displays on my TV screen. Thus, I do not need to pick up the phone to discover that the call is a political pitch.
  • My furnace switches on when the room temperature drops below the preset temperature on the thermostat.
  • Popcorn produces perfect white puffs in my microwave when I push the smart button that has been pre-programmed for popping corn.
  • My mixer will knead a batch of bread while I chop veggies for stew.
  • My clothes dryer can be set to dry all kinds of fabrics without damage to any of the fibers.
  • My washer senses the size of each load and adjusts the amount of water it uses accordingly.
  • Coolest of all, my sis has a vacuum that she programs to do her floors while she is away from home. Said vacuum knows it must avoid objects and skillfully skirts around each.

Are there ever glitches when using these products? Of course, but not on a daily basis! So my question is, Tissue Box Designer, why is it so difficult to conceive a tissue box that dispenses the tissues in a manner that provides customer satisfaction?

Frustrated Tissue User


  1. It's a conspiracy with the bathroom tissue people. I can never use the first sheet on a roll of bathroom tissue because it has been glued to the next few sheets and the last sheets are glued to the roll. This wonders me!!!

  2. Captain Nancy, those who work with paper products must be especially design challenged.

  3. Perhaps not so much "design challenged" as they are savvy marketers.
    Anyway, you have a valid set of complaints about the tissue boxes, but wonder of wonders. Look at all the marvels that function "properly" for you. The thermostat is the only one on your list that I could include on mine.
    (Mayhap I need to shop less "cheaply"?

  4. Vanilla, it's amazing that I got along for so many years without all of the bells and whistles. They are not needed, but I like them anyway!

  5. This is a brilliant article. It will help a lot of people. Thanks for sharing it with us. The London Fancy Box

  6. tisanjosh, thank you for your comments. There are some companies here in the U.S. that could definitely use the help of The London Fancy Box.