Shopping For the Body You Want

Just as I walked into the great room, I heard the person on TV saying: “Get the body you want.” Until that instant I thought I already had the body I wanted. But now curious, I couldn’t rest until I obtained information on getting a different body. So I decided to find out how much the body I might really want would cost. The choices offered ranged from a well-toned body to a celebrity body, and I was assured that I could have a face that would be aesthetically balanced, visually stunning, radiant, and youthful. The word “youthful” kept me searching.

The first step to getting a new body requires a gym membership and personal trainer. I partially lucked out there. My health insurance springs for a membership in Silver Sneakers®, and at the facility were I’m a member I have access to all kinds of body toning equipment that I have no idea how to use. No personal trainer, though. But I’m good with Google, so I think I can probably do the personal trainer bit via the internet. No cost.

A diet plan is also a requirement for getting a new body. I had heard that Dr. Oz promotes a one-day diet. I liked the sound of that, so I checked it out. Unfortunately, my research uncovered a ruse. Every day is day one of the diet. I used to entice my kids with that same kind of incentive until they attained the age of – well, maybe two. The diet plan I really like includes a chef and meals delivered to my door for only $40 a day. I’m sure I can slip that little sum right past Hubby’s watchful eye without him even noticing!

The third step to acquiring a new body is what I now call the “buff and bedeck” step. I was sure this part of my new body would be reasonably priced. However, I found that not to be the case. At a minimum, “buff” requires seventeen different products. Eight of these products are just for the face. And now that I know I should have been using all of these products rather than relying just on my 99 44/100% pure bar, I’m no longer shocked that I totally look my age.

While “buff” products remove all skin cells that are not essential for survival, “bedeck” products conceal any facial skin that has miraculously avoided obliteration. Not surprisingly, all “bedeck” products must be removed nightly with a whole different collection of “buff” products.

Net shopping for what would be considered fair quality “buff” and “bedeck” products, and not even taking into consideration suggested cologne, perfume, body mists, wrinkle removers, and sunscreen, I came up with a total of $425 to design a new body starter kit.

I’ve been thinking about how new body shopping could be made much easier for others than it has been for me. Therefore, I plan to design a business model for a Full Image New Body Shopping Center. Included will be a gym complete with swimming pool and trainers, a beauty salon, a nail salon, a spa, a buff shop next door to a bedeck shop, a supermarket style diet center for shopping diet options, a health food store, a vitamin shop, a perfumery and, at the very center of the mall, an “if all else fails” anchor store for plastic surgery and cosmetic dentistry. Any investors out there?


  1. Kin I get in on the "if all else fails" part of the program?

  2. Vanilla, I was actually counting on you to be one of the investors. Investors will definitely get discoubts.