Drastic Measures

Osteoarthritis pain is, well, a pain. Though I’ve exhausted advice from doctors and friends, I continue to search for ways to alleviate said pain.

While on the internet the other day endeavoring to find yet another suggestion, I happened to remember a creative method I read about a few years ago in the Olathe, KS, newspaper. The dateline was Muncie, Indiana. I once lived in Muncie, so that caught my attention and I read on.

The article was about a Muncie lady who had a bunion on her foot that caused her a great deal of pain. Her goal was to get rid of the bunion and, in the process, relieve the pain.

Pain Lady’s chosen method of attack was a razor blade. This partially succeeded in that the bunion was no longer visible, but her foot became infected and, subsequently, the pain unbearable.

Since method number one was not totally effective, Pain Lady planned and implemented method number two. Shotgun in tow, she went to her back yard and shot her foot at the spot where the bunion had been. Needless to say, the prognosis for pain relief was not good.

Having had cortisone injections, hyaluronan injections, surgery, and physical therapy, I’m now methodically working my way through a list of self-help remedies including: apple cider vinegar drinks, glucosamine sulfate, ice packs, hot packs, exercise, relaxation techniques, warm baths, weight loss, giving up beer (well I have never had a beer, but I am staying as far away as possible from the nasty odor), creams that supposedly contain pain relievers, creams with pepper extract, creams with camphor and menthol, and, at bad times, an Ibuprofen.

I’m still praying and am open to suggestions just so long as they don’t include anything related to gun powder.

Natural Healing

The doctor said it - out loud, “Osteoarthritis.” I know I’m much too young to have arthritis, but apparently, even though he had my chart right there in his hand, he didn’t pick up on that fact. Okay, so the knees hurt, especially when I need them to help me get out of a chair. But, arthritis? I’m just too young!

That was week one. At year one I had to face facts and I went to my trusted friend, the internet. There I discovered that a person suffering from osteoarthritis will find much relief with a drastic change of diet. So, weighing giving up my favorite foods and lifetime eating habits against the restless nights and pill-popping, I decided to try healing by controlling what goes into my mouth. More accurately, by what is not allowed to go into my mouth.

The “can’t have” list for those with osteoarthritis includes potatoes, white flour, milk with any fat content that would distinguish it from water, beef, pork, sugar, butter, excess salt, vegetable fats, coffee, alcohol, and tobacco.

I don’t use alcohol or tobacco, but I definitely had to think long and hard about the coffee. My habit won. (Well, as long as I’m confessing, maybe also the beef.) How could my knees possibly know if I had only a couple of cups of coffee a day and a little beef once in a while?

The “can have” list reads much like a vegetarian’s dream: raw vegetables, cooked greens and carrots, sweet potatoes, avocados, sprouts, brown rice, whole wheat products, oats, barley, sea weed, soy products, and, occasionally, chicken, salmon, herring, or tuna. The drink of choice on this diet is green tea.

Bravely, I plunged in, and for the first meal I had an egg white omelet with spinach, avocado, artichoke hearts, and feta cheese. (I think the cheese was legal since the healing website said nothing about avoiding sheep’s or goat’s milk.) Since then I have had many interesting dishes and combinations.

Apparently the diet to relieve osteoarthritis works because my knees have much less pain when I call on them for support. But in the future what may be hurting is my wallet. At the very least I’m going to have to shop for new jeans. This arthritis diet plan needs to have a warning that reads, “Caution, this osteoarthritis diet may cause weight loss.” Though I’m sure that extra ten pounds had nothing at all to do with my knees hurting, I’m glad I am no longer having a reaction to those “can’t have” foods.

Now, where can I find jeans made in the USA?