How’d You Get That Job?

There are some jobs in this world that must be perfect. Daily I receive a notice from a company that gives out mega prizes. Sometimes they refer to me as a “star player,” even though I have never played any of their games. Other times the notice invites me to use a search engine that will enter my name for a chance to be a multi-millionaire. One thing that is hard to miss in these messages is the name of the Executive Director of the “Prize Patrol.” 

What a great job! Who is ever going to be displeased with someone’s job performance when what they do is arrive at front doors with flowers and messages involving millions of dollars?

I can just imagine the job performance evaluation:

• Organizational Skills

Efficiently handles multiple activities simultaneously: Holds facsimile of check, presents flowers, smiles, and offers congratulations in a professional manner while appearing that he is happy about the recipient’s win.

• Client Satisfaction

During the past year all clients have been 100% satisfied with the performance of the Executive Director.

I might enjoy this job, but the position is already filled.

Other jobs that don’t seem perfect on the surface but, with some digging, may qualify. These are jobs that come with mega severance packages. In big cities where I have lived, this "perfect" kind of job is often held by a school superintendent. Since there are so many wonderful educators out there who actually know what schools should be doing in order to be successful, I’m always puzzled as to why a board signs a contract that includes using taxpayer money to rid the district of an underperforming, hard-to-get-along-with leader. But school boards are not the only organizations that are used by these leadership types.

Just this past week, it was announced that the CEO of our city-owned hospital will be leaving. It seems that this split is a mutual agreement between him and the hospital board. His deal is a $1.15 million dollar severance package that includes 18 months of severance pay, $20,000 for job placement, the title to the car furnished to him by the hospital as a part of his salary, and health benefits.* 

Say what? Well, maybe not the mayor’s words, but what he meant when he requested that the city council fire the hospital board, which it promptly did. 

I don’t think I would be able to sleep if I had scammed a not-for-profit organization out of big bucks. So, obviously, this would not be the perfect job for me. But for this CEO, he had the perfect job if his ambition is to pad his own pockets.

I have long criticized this very common practice, but had decided that it would forever “fly under the radar,” so to speak. Now I’ve discovered that our population voted wisely for a mayor and council who have the fortitude to take a stand against people who apparently exist to scam the system.  Yea mayor! Yea city council! 

*The Gazette (Colorado Springs)